Comment
: "Exactly how long is your tube?"
Interpretation:
Telescopes and, more specifically, the optical tube
assembly, are described in terms of the focal length
and aperture of the tube and lens. Comment
: "I need a friend to help me grind this
thing."
Interpretation:
An aspect of amateur astronomy is "ATM" or Amateur Telescope
Making. Of course, a key aspect of such a venture is to grind your own mirror
blank into a lens. Comment
: "I want to get in a little naked-eye
action."
Interpretation:
In addition to using telescopes, amateur astronomers
also use binoculars and simple naked-eye observation when pursuing
this wonderful hobby. Eclipses, meteor showers and
bright comets are common "naked-eye" events. Comment
: "What's the closest anyone's ever gotten
to Uranus?"
Interpretation:
Uranus is one of the outermost planets of our solar
system and, regrettably (?), rhymes with a certain anatomical part.
This coincidence can be attributed to a poor adaptation of the Greek
word for the planet Uranus ("Ouranos"). Comment
: "You need a bigger unit so you can
go deeper."
Interpretation:
A key consideration when purchasing a telescope is
the aperture (or "size of the unit") as there is much greater light
gathering ability with a larger lens and, hence, for fainter and
deeper objects to be visible and discernible. Comment
: "What's the best way to mount a Short-Tube?"
Interpretation:
As noted earlier, a key characteristic of a telescope
is its focal length. Certain aspects of astronomy - such as
astrophotography - are best carried out using shorter
focal lengths ("short-tubes")
whereas others - such as high-power planetary imaging - are best
carried out using longer focal lengths ("long-tubes"). Mounting
of course refers to the exercise of attaching the OTA to a tripod
and mount. Comment
: "Reasons why smaller apertures are
better."
Interpretation:
Although larger apertures may be able to gather much
more light than smaller apertures
and, therefore, allow
for the observation and imaging of fainter and deeper objects,
they have the disadvantage of covering a very narrow area of
the sky. In contrast, smaller aperture telescopes provide wider
views which, at times, can be an advantage. Of course, for
the former, focal reducers, field flatteners and
telecompressors
can help alleviate the problem of narrow-field coverage. Comment
: "Are you going to shoot the Virgin
tonight?"
Interpretation:
Shooting of course refers to the process of taking
a photograph (emulsion) or image (CCD) and "Virgin" is the well-known
and very large Virgo constellation. Comment
: "She kept observing it as it rose higher
and higher."
Interpretation:
Of course, heavenly bodies such as the sun, moon
and stars rise and set. Comment
: "Mine is bigger than yours."
Interpretation:
A common "affliction" with this hobby is "aperture-fever" where
one is always seeking to get a bigger and bigger aperture
telescope by continuously upgrading. I bypassed this problem
by getting a monster (Celestron 14" SCT) up-front. Comment
: "Who says aperture doesn't count?"
Interpretation:
On the basis of some of the interpretations provided
above, I trust the interpretation here is clear. Comment
: "We do it in the dark."
Interpretation:
A significant portion of this hobby involves the
night sky and, hence, for a desire for darkness
(and as much of it as possible) to help in seeing
more and fainter objects. Comment
: ".....and all night long."
Interpretation:
Of course, a continuation of the previous concept.
In addition to light pollution, a frequent
nemesis of the amateur astronomer is overcast and
cloudy skies which further reinforces the need
and desire to pursue this hobby all night long when
skies
are clear (and stable). Comment
: "EYEGASMS!"
Interpretation:
After all, astronomy is a hobby and profession involving
the visual sense. Comment
: "I use shower caps over the end of
my 10 and 6 inch..., you will need the extra large size
for your 12.5 inch."
Interpretation:
Of course, lenses must be protected using caps and
the references to 6,
10 and 12.5 inches
are lens apertures. Comment
: "Do you have your angle of the dangle
correct?"
Interpretation:
Since we are dealing with the observation of the
universe, a four-dimensional animal,
angles
are all too important and significant. Comment
: "Viagra kept me going all night long!"
Interpretation:
As noted earlier, clear skies are much sought-after
and, as a result, the need and desire
to go at it all night long is common practice. Comment
: "I love going deep ...."
Interpretation:
An aspect of astronomy is the observation and study
of deep-sky objects with attempts to hunt
down deeper and deeper (ie. fainter) objects. Comment
: "The deeper the better."
Interpretation:
A variant of the previous item. Comment
: "Aperture always wins."
Interpretation:
A variant of an earlier item (see ""Mine
is bigger than yours"). Comment
: "Mir finally coming ...."
Interpretation:
After a stint in space spanning over 15 years and
coupled with the construction and near-completion
of the ISS, the time has arrived for Mir to be brought
out of orbit allowing both atmospheric drag and gravity
do their thing. Comment
: "Mir going down ..."
Interpretation:
Further to the above interpretation, the MIR space
station will be brought back to earth
and allowed to splash down into the ocean. Since
the MIR space station is Russian property, the Russians
will not only be assuming the responsibility of
its return to earth but will employ their typical
technique
in retrieving spacecraft by having then fall into
the
ocean. Comment
: "Mir getting wet ..."
Interpretation:
As noted with the previous interpretation, the spacecraft
will be brought back and allowed to
fall into the middle of the South Pacific Ocean. Comment
: "Mir real hot on re-entry ... news at eleven."
Interpretation:
Although the space station is both big and heavy
(weighing over 135 tonnes), friction
with the earth's atmosphere will allow up to 90%
of the space craft to not only get real hot (over
5000
degrees Celsius) but also burn during re-entry. Comment
: "Mir fizzles on entry ..."
Interpretation:
Please see previous interpretation. Comment
: "Mir finally gets laid ... to rest."
Interpretation:
Having spent over fifteen years as this planet's
first space station with various close
calls for disaster including over 1500 computer "glitches",
oxygen and air purification system failures and collision
with a Russian supply ship in 1997 which almost totally
destroyed Mir, the station's end was greatly overdue.
As a result, Mir being laid ... to rest ... was something
that has been planned for some time.
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